A Lot Easier Said Than Done: Parents Talk About Raising Children in Today's America
Steve Farkas, Jean Johnson and Ann Duffett with Leslie Wilson and Jackie Vine.

LINK

A majority of parents surveyed say American society is an inhospitable climate for raising children, where parents can never let down their guard in the face of popular culture, drugs and crime. In fact, nearly half the parents we surveyed said they worry more about protecting their child from negative social influences than about paying the bills or having enough family time together. Six in 10 rate their generation "fair" or "poor" in raising children. Relatively few parents believe they have been successful in teaching their kids the values they consider "absolutely essential." Conducted for the State Farm Insurance Companies with additional funding from the Family Friendly Programming Forum.

No one ever said parenting was easy. Public Agenda surveys in the past have found that the public typically finds today's youth difficult and disrespectful, even as they acknowledge the challenges parents face. In our latest survey, A Lot Easier Said Than Done, we turn to the parents themselves to see what challenges they face and what strategies they use to cope.

We found that a large majority of parents say American society is an inhospitable climate for raising children, where parents can never let down their guard in the face of popular culture, drugs and crime. As one mother put it in a focus group, parents are "keeping the world at bay until you've formed these kids, so that they can learn to make their own decisions and live in the real world."

In fact, nearly half the parents we surveyed said they worry more about protecting their child from negative social influences than about paying the bills or having enough family time together. While low-income parents report greater time and financial pressures, a plurality still say social influences worry them more.

Parents aren't easy on themselves, either. Six in 10 rate other parents only "fair" or "poor" in raising children. Relatively few parents believe they have been successful in teaching their kids many of the values they consider "absolutely essential," such as independence and self-control. Parents worry about the impact of television, with majorities saying TV gets "worse by the year" but also saying that TV sometimes teaches good lessons to children. Half of parents say their child has a TV in their room.

"Knowing what parents value most gives us insights into what society values and what we can expect of future generations," said Edward B. Rust, Jr., Chairman and CEO, State Farm Insurance Companies, which funded the survey along with the Family Friendly Programming Forum.

During our research, Public Agenda began to identify distinctive mindsets among parents. We found four prominent archetypes of parents, which are described in Finding 4. It's important to note, however, that not every parent falls into a specific type, nor does belonging to a certain type mean a parent can't hold attitudes of another group.

FINDING ONE: Protecting Children from the World Outside
Parents say that today's America offers a difficult environment for raising children. They say our society barrages youngsters with harmful messages and, if parents are not very careful, even poses genuine physical dangers for kids. These hazards are a source of constant worry, posing an even tougher problem than household finances or lack of family time for many parents.

FINDING TWO: Television: A Worrisome Old Friend
Parents say that TV in some form is a virtually inescapable part of life today and one that sometimes offers offensive, disturbing messages. Even so, the vast majority of parents acknowledge TV's benefits, and few say they have ever seriously considered doing without TV. Half of parents report that their child has a TV set in his or her room, and they are divided on how they handle television watching in their own homes. Many parents, especially those with younger children, report dogged efforts to supervise TV viewing and filter out or counter its more questionable aspects. Other parents take a laissez-faire approach.

FINDING THREE: Trying to Create a Responsible Adult
America's parents know there are certain values and character traits that are essential to transmit to their children, and they readily admit that far more work needs to be done in many areas before they can claim success. Today more than ever, there seems to be a special urgency and practical relevance to making sure their children attain crucial character traits--such as independence, self-control, honesty and politeness--because having them can help mitigate the harmful messages and negative social influences that so many kids are exposed to these days.

FINDING FOUR: The Complex Equation of Parenting
There are an infinite number of strategies for raising children, and parents of kids of all ages say they often find themselves struggling to find the right one for each situation. Virtually all believe that giving children constant love and encouragement is a critical approach to child rearing, but they also believe that preparing children for real life requires structure and boundaries. Parents often find themselves weighing the need to protect their children from danger against the need to loosen the reins and let kids learn from their own mistakes. Last, a special analysis uncovers four types of parents with characteristic attitudes and behaviors bundled together to form distinctive parenting styles.

FINDING FIVE: Dating, Driving and Decisions: The Teen Years
Parents face a special set of dangers and problems as their children navigate the teen years, and parents fully recognize this. Yet parents of teens also are committed to the idea that as children get older they must make their own decisions-and learn from their mistakes. The findings suggest that a chief goal of parenthood is to raise youngsters to be independent, to make wise decisions and to function well without constant adult intervention.

FINDING SIX: Depending on the Circumstances: The Views of Low-Income Parents and Single Parents
As we have seen, most parents in America today share similar goals for raising their children and have similar fears regarding society's impact on the well-being of youngsters. But there are some noteworthy distinctions among low-income parents and single parents. Both groups are more likely to have serious worries about their children's social milieu, making ends meet and getting health insurance for their kids. And despite their personal struggles, both groups of parents say their biggest challenge is protecting their children from negative social influences.

The full report is available in print for $10, plus $2.00 shipping and handling. Use our fax order form to get print copies.